How To Kill A Rooster

The most exciting part of standfast was without a doubt my first killing of a rooster. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m pretty much a vegetarian (not by choice) in Guinea. Beef is too scary or expensive to eat, and chicken is even more expensive. Nonetheless, we decided it was time to eat some chicken. Thus, Jan, Greg, and I hiked down to the market to pick out a rooster. The second I asked about roosters, Susu women began shoving roosters in my face and in my hands, making me compare their weight, and refusing to take them back until I paid for them. I wasn’t until I pointed out to them that I had to have at least one free hand to pay them that they finally took the roosters back.

Killing the roosters was quite an experience. Catching them before hand was probably the most difficult part of all, as Sam, Ben, Ian, Hajib, and I all raced after the two roosters throughout the compound, unable to catch even the one rooster who had its legs tied together. When they were finally hanging upside down in my hands we got the proper tools to kill them: a small knife and a huge machete. See, we wanted to slit one’s throat (the common method of killing chickens in Guinea) and chop the other’s head off (to see if chickens really do run around with their heads cut off.

So, here are the steps to killing a chicken via the slit throat method:

1. Hold the chicken down by its head, and pluck some of the feathers from its neck.
2. Step on its wings, which should be extended one on top of the other, and hold down its feet, to minimize movement by the agonizing chicken.
3. Say a little Koranic prayer, or have a petit (small African child) say one for you.
4. Pull the knife across the neck, making sure to press firmly so as to avoid multiple passes with the knife, as I had to do due to my unfirm pressure the first time.
5. Whimper like a little girl at the sight of the dying chicken.

And here are the steps to killing a chicken via the head chopping method:

1. Find a large cutting object, such as a machete, and a large chopping block or log to lay the chicken down on.
2. Again, say a little Koranic prayer, or have a petit say one for you.
3. Have a another person hold down the head of the chicken, which should be extended as far as possible from the body.
4. Have some really good aim, so you don’t cut off the hand of the person holding the chicken head.
5. Strike down with the machete in one quick and very hard motion.
6. Strike down with the machete at least 10 more times because you didn’t think it would be so hard to cut a chickens head off.
7. Release the chicken, and watch it run around with its head cut off (yes, it really does this!!)

After killing the chickens, you pluck them by diping the dead chicken in boiling water and then removing all the feathers in a long, smelly, and tedious process. Then, cook and enjoy!

Following my first rooster sacrifice, I decided I want to raise chickens for food. It was much easier than I thought, and I only whimpered like a little girl a few times. We did however, decide that for a future project, we would like to try and build a chicken guillotine, as perhaps a cleaner, faster, and more humane method of killing chickens. Or it might just end up being a disaster. Oo’o.